What candy never shows up on time? Choco-late
Why did the student bring a ladder to Valentine’s Day?
Because they heard the romance was on another level.
What did the calculator say to the student on Valentine’s Day?
You can always count on me.
What do you call two birds in love on Valentine’s Day?
Tweethearts.
What did one glue stick say to the other?
I’m stuck on you
Why did the clock get a Valentine?
Because it always makes time for you.
What did the paperclip say to the paper?
I’m attached to you.
What did one chemist say to the other?
“I’ve got my ion you.”
Did you hear about the shoes that got engaged?
They’re sole-mates.
What did one drum say to the other?
“My heart beats for you.”
What did one pickle say to the other?
“You mean a great dill to me.”
I was wondering why my feet got cold.
Then I remembered you knocked my socks off.
